Tag: truth

The Truth Hurts… Or Does It?

Many people tell you that the truth can hurt… but how much does it really hurt compared to a non-truth/lie?

I have been lied to and I have lied many times throughout my young life.  For people to not mention or tell the truth, in a way, has almost become acceptable.  It seems, people would rather hear a very good lie than to hear the truth.  People, in fact, have become scared of the truth, for what it can do to their life, emotions, and appearance.  As I have grown, I have become more concerned about the effects of the lie being told over the effects of the truth being told.

“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”  ― Mark Twain

Mark Twain couldn’t have said it better.  When you mention a lie, you then have to remember how you said/told this lie.  In most cases, you also then have to make up more lies to go with the first lie.  Before you know it, you are up Shits Creek, without a paddle, and confused how you get in this predicament in the first place.

If one would live by the truth, one would have no worries.  Now… I’m not saying life will be fine and dandy.  Trust me, telling the truth won’t get you as far with a situation as telling a lie.  You lie to try to protect the truth, in hopes, that the lie will allow the current situation to be resolved and your relation with this person(s) will continue.  Lies will always begin to show their truths; however, and you will then be faced with more drama than the first round.

If you tell the truth upfront… one of two things will most likely happen: 1. The relation with this person will cease to exist. 2. The person, over time, will forgive you.  You will have a stronger relationship in the longer run, because of you telling the truth upfront.

We live in a world with lies and hatred all around us… and look where we are.  If we could replace each lie and hatred with love, happiness, and truth… our world will be a much better place…

robert1ee

The Mask…

Don’t live a life hiding behind a mask…

Don’t live a life hiding yourself from the World…

A Glimpse Into My Life… Pt. III

Most of my middle school years through my high school years, I dated females of a different race than my own.  Yes… I did get some looks from others, as if, I was doing something morally wrong.  I learned many things from different races and cultures.  I have tried, if you will, to understand their personal struggles, as well.  Although, being the race that I am, I will never truly understand their hurdles they have to jump over, but I at least can acknowledge that those “hurdles” do, in fact, exists.

Many questioned me during this period of my life.  Many, and according to some recent conversations, felt I was a fake. A Flake. A Dick rider. A Wanna-be. Annoying… Yes, this list goes on.  What has always interested me is when a Caucasian wears urban clothing and hangs around a different race… he/she is considered a wanna-be, and when one of their own wears Caucasian brands and hangs around with Caucasians… they are considered a “sell-out”.  It confuses me why an individual should have to listen to the “rules of society”, when we are preached growing up to be ourselves.  To make our own paths.  To be different than the norm.  Why, because I’m Caucasian, should I wear only certain brands, when I felt more comfortable and felt more attractive in other brands of clothing.

To be yourself in a World that wants to hold you to a standard is, in my opinion, one of the hardest challenges   I can be whomever I want to be in this World, but I can’t be whomever I want… Gets a tad confusing right?  I grow.  I learn.  I adapt.  Just like everyone else in this World, I have learned how to be apart of the environment around me.  But the bottom line has always been… be yourself.  This is something that, today, I am still learning.  How does one be themselves when we are manipulated by the environment around us so much?  How does one truly be unique?

By no means am I trying to make this a racial topic… I am making this a personal reflection topic.  How does one be “themselves” in this World of judgement and forced upon agendas?   How does one grow up and not adapt to the environment around him/her?  For me being accused of being a “wanna-be” in high school simply because some of my closes friends were of a different race and I wore clothing that was made from a different race, to me, is jealousy on that person.  I am no more of a wanna-be than you are trying to make yourself be… Isn’t it more of a sale out to ONLY wear your races brand of clothing? Wouldn’t that be fitting into the “rules of society”? Be different and stand out… or fit in the crowd and be unseen.

I’d rather stand out…

robert1ee

What you learn…

With every event in my life, I have tried to take something out of it to apply to my life.  My last post talked about my past marriage.  I don’t publicly talk about that much.  It is a hard topic, as all divorces are… but I did learn many things from this…

For starters… my ex and I had many life values that ended up being different, and because of this, we clashed a lot.  I had a friend on Facebook that posted a question: Could you date someone that didn’t have the same religious views or political views as yours?  I answered by saying that it would never work for the long run.  Your religious views weigh heavy into your political views and vice versa…  What, if when you have kids, are you suppose to teach them.  Your religious views? Her religious views? If you have different values of life, all you can do is give your opinions to your child, and hope for the best.  But then again, isn’t that what taking your kids to church is to begin with?  Planting a seed in them to hope they can live as good or better life than your own.

It gets even more difficult when dealing with politics… If your wife believes in Pro-Choice, but you believe in Pro-Life… OR… you believe in the death penalty and your wife doesn’t… OR… even deeper, you don’t believe in Homosexual marriage, but your wife does… Don’t you start to see the problem.  It starts to get confusing.  The say opposites attract, but those opposites have to have some similarities in chemistry to still attract.

This was the first lesson that I learned in my 20’s.  Just because you are attracted to that person and just because you have good conversations… if your underlining life values clash, then it will never work.  From this ‘life experience’,  I have learned that if I do find love again, she’ll need to have many of the same life values as I do, or I know it will not work.

To Be Continued…

robert1ee

A Glimpse Into My Life… Pt. II

Have you ever been truly in love???  I have been… once.

It all started about nine years and six months ago…

I worked as the GM Assistant Manager at a Marsh Supermarkets near Fox Road in the Geist area of Indianapolis, Indiana.  Her mom and her shopped there once a week.  I would always say “Hi” to them, and help them find things from time-to-time.  Her mother was a very wonderful person.  She always had a smile on her face, and I could tell she was a very loving woman.  Her daughter… was beautiful.  She had an amazing smile and a figure that would drive any man crazy at that age.  Age… that was the one thing that always concerned me.  I knew this daughter was younger than me, but it was really hard to tell how ‘much’ younger she really was.

A few weeks go by and I start to find friends of mine that also were friends with her.  I found out she was in HS, and that she was beginning to start her senior year. I was beginning to start my freshman year of college, so I felt relieved that she was not too much younger than I.  I also found out her name: Kristi.  Kristi… this name seemed to fit her very well.  She had amazing blue eyes, had a shy but interesting personality, and enjoyed going to after school activities (basketball and football games). The more I began to know about her, the more I started to have an interest in her.

A few weeks later, while I was at work, she stops in to get a salad.  She walked by me, smiled, and, at that moment, I knew I had to stop her and have a conversation with her.  The conversation went well.  We had a small chat that ended with me giving her my number.  I honestly didn’t expect her to call… I have always been good with talking to ladies, but getting calls from them was rare.  I got off of work that day around three or four pm, and within a few hours, my phone rang.  At that moment… I knew I found someone special.

Like every relationship… you have your ups and downs.  Mostly all the downs were because of my stupidity and selfishness, but somehow, she was still there by my side.  We went to college together, then moved in together, then I proposed to her one late evening in December of 2006.  We even set a date that same night on when we would wed.  We both wanted a Winter wedding day.  After some thinking late into this night, we decided on a December 27th, 2008 wedding date.  Everything was set.  The future looked promising.  I was in love with her and loved her.  She was, and still is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

No… this story doesn’t have a happy ending.  Not even three years later… we ended up giving up.  Less than a year after that, we ended up getting a divorce.  The reasons for us getting a divorce?  Well… I would say it was 50/50; however, I would have to say I was more at blame, so it was probably closer to 80/20.  We had issues.  We had some problems that we could not seem to get past.  I became a weak man, a weak husband, and even though I tried to stand tall… I crumbled.

Divorce has been very hard on me… I have tried to suck it up, go out with friends and family, and try to hide the truth of how much pain I was in.  I missed her, and I still do miss her.  Thoughts of other men dated her angered me.  Even though I’m the one that asked for the divorce, I felt she was still, very much, apart of me.  But she wasn’t… There was nothing I could do to win her heart back.  Our relationship was ruined because of actions that I took.  If only I was a stronger man… if only I had just listened to her problems/concerns… then maybe, maybe, we would still be together today.

To Be Continued…

-robert1ee

Right Back At Ya!

Sometimes life… gives you lemons.  Sometimes life… gives you roses.  Well… I know I’m not perfect… but anyone that wants to judge me before judging themselves… this picture below illustrates my thoughts exactly…

-The Other Point of View

No Longer Exist…

Time goes by…/Painful… the tears fall quickly/What am I doing here?/I need to make adjustments quickly…

I’m stuck in this train of thought/Forever, you and I?/My heart felt it good/My mind had these thoughts…

Chapter doesn’t get finished/Writers block/But not the type that makes you forget/Just the type that makes you feel locked…

From the world, I struggle to breath fresh air/My lungs are yearning for your presence near/Intoxication/Knocks me off my feet/But whats it worth when I can’t keep you near.

My eyes try to look past the truth/Like I’m looking for some reason or excuse//But reality settles in/And once again, I start to realize that I’m all alone under this roof.

Lonely planet… I must be on Mars/I feel no one is near me/Lost… hopeless… need to make adjustments quickly…

Your presence makes me happy/Without it…it feels missed/Lets now see what happens… When I no longer exist…

What’s The Reason…

Whats to remember when I didnt even exist?
The thoughts of starting somethin,
Didn’t mean shit…
The truth?
You never wanted any part of it.

Should of listened from the get go
My heart was starving
You feed me till I was full
Heart pounding, carving…

I really don’t know much,
But I know what to feel…
And as much as I hate needles at the doctors,
I can tell you that this shit was more real.

Pain is all around the world,
Love has fallen apart,
And this is the last time in my life,
I will give away my heart.

Wear it on my sleeve,
I should consider that,
Because as easy as it was for me to give it away,
I could of been letting someone borrow my hat.

And to get it back…
Is as easier than to give???
Let me ask you a question…
Is it easier to steal or to borrow?
Is it easier to suffer or to live?

That’s right… life is crazy,
We suffer daily,
We all wake up to accomplish one thing,
Get through another one… maybe.

So what should I do…
Jump off a bridge?
Just “kick it” and “hang”?
Should I ride til I die?
Rockin guns never get the same pain?

Its all bullshit…
I’m over it…
I will just drink…
Til my body can no longer function…
That, will be, accomplished in one way…
When my life no longer functions…