Tag: pain

A Friend Like You

As humans,

We yearn for that comfort,

That joy in our heart

We look around,

For other people,

To join in this art.

What you gave to me,

Was like a needed restart,

You showed me comfort,

In a time,

Were I felt depart

I’m not an introvert,

But making friends is hard,

At times I assert,

Because my bodies always on guard.

I wear my heart on my sleeve,

Which also causes pain,

I’ve always been one to believe,

To say what’s on the brain

But I hurt you,

Which is something I didn’t intend,

The last thing I want,

Is for this friendship to end.

Because I need a friend like you,

One that’s by my side,

Because of my past relationships,

My soul and heart has broken,

I feel part of my life has died,

As I am moving forward,

As I continue this stride,

I need you to be there,

Right by my side.

Lean on me, I’ll lean on you,

Like a great friend is suppose to do.

In time, please believe,

This friendship will help us heal,

And trust love again, eventually.

I want to be your friend,

Nothing more, nothing less,

The fact that we are here,

I tell God, I feel blessed.

When you need me there,

By your side, I’ll be,

I want this friendship to be strong,

I want this reflection to be the better part of me

A Glimpse Into My Life… Pt. VI

When I walk into a room full of people… I feel like I am alone.

I have always felt this way.  Maybe it is my sense of humor.  Maybe it is my lack of self-esteem.  Maybe it is just a fantasy, like a dream.  However you look at it, or really however I look at it… I feel alone.

This loneliness doesn’t stop.  Ever.  Unless I am at home by myself or with someone I am falling in love with, which in those cases I am happy.  Which then makes me wonder… is my loneliness really just the fear of being alone?  I am afraid of being single? I have asked myself this question a few times.  The more I think about it, the more I feel that it is not a fear of being single… it is the fear of not being loved.

I am a very emotional person for a guy.  A few consider this as a weakness.  A few consider this as being a ‘real man’.  A few think it is a good thing until they date me and realize that I act/behave more like a female (with my emotions) than what they are use to, then back away from me.  I have never understood why people would care if a man has feelings.  Aren’t we all taught to be truthful with ourselves and others around us?  If a man never shows their true feelings… isn’t that just living a stereotypical lifestyle? Some say showing emotion shows the man as a weak person, but I ask, how does showing my true feelings change how ‘strong’ I am?

If you know me well and have never seen me emotional… think of me at a bar or out at a dance club, have you ever noticed my eyes glazed over or staring of into the abyss.  I have done this many times.  More so in the past year than most of my life.

I stand alone in a crowded room because I feel no one can feel my pain.  I stand alone in a crowded room because I feel no one can see me in pain.

To Be Continued…

robert1ee

 

No Longer Exist…

Time goes by…/Painful… the tears fall quickly/What am I doing here?/I need to make adjustments quickly…

I’m stuck in this train of thought/Forever, you and I?/My heart felt it good/My mind had these thoughts…

Chapter doesn’t get finished/Writers block/But not the type that makes you forget/Just the type that makes you feel locked…

From the world, I struggle to breath fresh air/My lungs are yearning for your presence near/Intoxication/Knocks me off my feet/But whats it worth when I can’t keep you near.

My eyes try to look past the truth/Like I’m looking for some reason or excuse//But reality settles in/And once again, I start to realize that I’m all alone under this roof.

Lonely planet… I must be on Mars/I feel no one is near me/Lost… hopeless… need to make adjustments quickly…

Your presence makes me happy/Without it…it feels missed/Lets now see what happens… When I no longer exist…