This will be a hard one to write…
As a few of you may know, there has been a big sudden change in my life. Although I still feel it is a dream and I don’t want to accept it, reality does start to set in after awhile. During this post, I will not come out exactly and say what is happening, but please be sure that I am OK.
Life is rough when it wants to be. I am usually always a happy person with a big heart. You can usually always find me smiling and enjoying life wherever I am. About two weeks before Christmas, my heart stopped. Or maybe, I was just dreaming and I can’t find a way to wake up. Life as I knew it, just did a 180 on me, and I didn’t know how to flip it back. I cried, I meditated, and then I knew what lead to this sudden change.
Many people go through their life never truly understanding what it is like to find someone that truly cares for them and has love for them. The few that do are usually considered the lucky ones. Or soulmates. Or blessed. However you want to word it, you know when you have found that special someone. That person that can make you always have a better day. That person that makes you smile and laugh. That person that you would like to wake up next to for the rest of your life. That person that you were never looking for, but your heart just was like: “Oh, there you are!”.
I am currently living with some family as I am going through my current change. Some days, not going to lie, are very hard while other days are OK. I am thankful for my family for allowing me to stay at their place as I refocus and get back on track. However, the more that I refocus, the more time I spend thinking about how to change things back and for the better.
As I mentioned in my last post, An Update…, things have changed in my life. These changes are not all for the better, but I am trying to make everything worth it. I’m coping, I’m understanding, and I’m trying to make things work. For better or worse, I’m not giving up easily. But just like the image says at the top, sometimes the mind already knows what the heart hasn’t accepted yet. Or maybe, the heart is stronger than the mind and doesn’t give up as easily.
This year will definitely be an interesting one. If I can give any advise about love, this would be it: If you love someone, make sure they know they are love and know they are appreciated. Make sure you are caring for them, listening to them, and spending time with them. Make sure that you are doing the little things. Trust me, the little things are noticed. Always tell them that you love them and always tell them how beautiful/handsome they are.
-robert1ee
My heart breaks for you and us. Love you.